Nowadays, a girl doesn't have to wait for a boy to call her. She can just call him if she wanted to . She could even use a pick up line on a guy if she wanted to. I recall reading in "How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere" a phrase that was something like (paraphrased): It is hard for the modern man to be able to pick up a girl because all of the lines are either cliche or make them think "Why are you using that on me?"
I feel bad for the modern day man... I really do. But I feel bad for the modern day girl too!
So here is my advice to BOTH!
To the Fellas:
Why can't things be like they were back then? I still believe in chivalry and boys taking charge. Why can't a guy still take the lead? Most guys I have met don't know how to take the lead in the dating world, which is fine if you find a girl who wants to... which I don't know any girl who does. Want to know my advice?
#1 Take the Lead
No girl wants to plan everything by herself! And most girls would love it if you would take charge and make plans for the two of you. YOU plan the dates! YOU decide where to go. YOU make decisions! It is not her place to have to do all of that! I know it is a modern world, but girls still want a good old fashioned guy! Don't let your ideas of "The New World" cloud the fundamentals of a great relationship.
#2 Learn to be Old Fashion
I don't mean dress like a 50's mobster (although that would be kind of hot... but only a mobster... not a nerd or prep from then...) I mean treat her like a guy would in the 50's! Open her door! Help her carry her stuff! If you two are together, don't let her carry anything... a girl may be a little apprehensive at first, but that is only because it is not common in this day and age. I am saddened by that. When did guys stop doing that for girls? I know a few guys who still do that, but the majority don't even think about it. I really want to know why. Is it because women try to feel empowered or is it because you don't even think about that kind of thing?
I mean, you are fine just the way you are, but girls want Romeo... they just do! They want a man who can come and take care of her and make her feel special! Old fashion men knew how to do that! If you want to know what I am talking about, watch any black and white romantic movie where the guy is trying to win over the girl. I love those types of movies! Well, anyway, girls will swoon! I promise... even though we may try to act tough, we all want someone to take care of us and to WANT to do those things for us!
#3 Contact her First
Even though it is not your job to carry the whole relationship, you still want her to feel special, right? Well, a girl doesn't want to have to make the first move, but she will if you make her! Don't make her... She will think she is the only one trying. I know... you may feel like that too... It is just that girls don't really think about texting you first unless they haven't talked to you in a while and she misses you. (Or if she really likes you... or if you are dating and she wakes up WAY before you do *cough* Fonnesy *cough*)
The thing about it is, girls actually CRAVE attention. I know... you don't want someone who is self-absorbed... but not every girl who wants attention is. Sometimes, they have gone so long trying to do it all themselves that they just want to be noticed by someone. To be cared about by someone. To find someone who would put them first. A guy who wants to talk to them more than anything. A guy who chases them instead of making them chase you.
Think about it guys. We are still women. Whether we are old fashioned or new age. We all want someone to talk to. Someone who WILL chase a little... I don't know how to explain it.
#4 Be Careful What You Say
No matter what the situation, please just watch what you say. Girls may act tough but we are really sensitive... it is kind of in our nature. I know...but we feel things deeper and are more sensitive. Even if you didn't mean anything by it, it can still hurt us. Even if we don't look like it did or we look tough, girls have a soft heart. It still hurts...
NOW, I am through talking to the guys... now let's get back to you beautiful ladies out there!
To The Ladies:
Let's just dive right into this one :D
#1 Don't Expect Him to be Superman
Guys aren't there to solve your every problem or to save you. They are not there just to do stuff for you either. You chose him to keep you company. Because he makes you smile. Because you two have a special connection you have never had with anybody else. Yes. He should treat you like the Princess you are, but don't be Louis Lane. Don't expect him to do everything for you or to pull you out of whatever it is you are in. He is human. I don't want to say "Don't expect too much out of him" like he won't do much, but don't expect more than any human is capable of. Don't expect him to carry you away from all of your troubles. Those are still yours to carry. He can help lighten the load but don't put all of the burden on him.
#2 You can call him too
I have heard it a lot! "I don't want to seem too eager. I don't know if he likes me so I won't text him first until I know." or "once I know if he likes me I will try." I am sorry, but if you are both playing that game, nobody will ever know anything. Like I said, this is a modern day where girls can make the first move. I know... you want him to. You want to be the center of his desires... but how does he know if you like him if you always wait to talk to him? If you like him, don't be afraid of him! He is just another human being whom you might have or might not have developed feelings for. Why not find out and let him know by wanting to talk to him?
It is scary when you have to always make the first move! I know! I have been there! I am still there... You can't be afraid to chase after love! If you don't try, they will never know how you feel. They are probably just as nervous as you are. For some reason, boys have a more restrained approach to girls. They don't just go up and ask them out anymore... sometimes, the girl has to ask. And plan. And do all of the work. I am not saying this is a good plan! If you read up above, I told the guys to stop doing this! But you can't shy away if you are asked to do this... He will learn. But how can he learn what you like if you never tell him?
#3 Don't Let Words Hurt You
People are very sarcastic today. There wasn't a lot of it when we were all little kids, but now, you see it everywhere. Heck! I am even a little sarcastic sometimes... (I think I just heard the thoughts of everyone who knows me..."a little?") Okay... maybe I am a little more sarcastic than that...
But that is not what I am getting at. People don't know your specific situation. They don't know what sets you off and what can make you feel the lowest of lows. If they make a comment, it might not have been to blatantly hurt you. If it was, they are a jerk anyways... I am pretty sure if people knew how much it hurt to be talked to a certain way, they wouldn't. I am not sure. I am not the rest of the human population. I am only me. But from my many years of life, (21 to be exact) I have learned that people don't always mean what they say.
I don't know. I am just saying that a guy doesn't know how a girl thinks. He doesn't know what to be honest about or what to lie about. If you want complete honesty, EXPECT complete honesty! Whether it is good or not. You have to choose complete honesty or expect lies.
#4 Let Them Do Things For You
Part of my problem is I don't like people doing things for me. I like to do it all by myself. But I have realized over the past 3 months that I don't have to do EVERYTHING.I have realized that men actually need to feel needed too! Ladies, let him do things for you! Let him open your door! Let him carry your stuff or even go get your stuff. Let him buy you something if he so wishes to do so. Seriously... what will it hurt if we let guys be chivalrous? Chivalry is not dead in the hearts of man. It is being stomped out by women who won't accept it! No. If a man does these things for you, it does not mean he is absolutely perfect. Nobody is perfect. But at least you might be able to find him to be a gentleman.
Don't kill CHIVALRY! It is already hanging by a thin thread... In fact, EXPECT it from a guy. If he is not doing it you should tell him you believe a guy should do those things! Sometimes, guys just aren't used to girls allowing them to do things for them.
Okay ladies... I am done... but I have one more for both of you!
PEOPLE!!!! Be Yourself!!!!!
You don't want to wake up one day and realize the person you love is in love with a person you created FOR them and that you are not really IN a relationship. You are in a fake one. If you are yourself, you will find someone who will fall in love with YOU instead of another person you created.
YOU are good enough! YOU will find someone who loves YOU for YOU!! Trust me! It will feel so much better if you just find someone who will love you and not another persona of you! How else would you find love? Be 100% you!! Nothing less!!!
Just remember, love is not a perfect science. None of this advice fits EVERYBODY on the planet, but I think it encompasses more of us than we realize.
If you liked any of this, hit the like button below. Share with those you feel might need it or even share it on your social media pages. There is a comment box below if you have any advice you want to add or if you have any questions! Leave me a comment =D It'll be fun! =D
Just remember, you ARE enough :D
Love,
Megan
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