Why I Started Taking Self-Inventory

Recently, in General Conference, the priesthood session had a talk about self-inventory. It was entitled, “Lord, is it I?” by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He starts off with talking about the last supper where all of Jesus’ apostles ask “Lord, is it I?”

Isn’t that just profound? That the apostles would look in themselves, humbled enough to see their flaws and hoping that they would not be the one who would do this to the Lord. I am not saying anything about my beliefs on the Last Supper because everyone believes differently and I do not want to cause any contention or offence. I am just going to say that every one of them took stock of their own personal lives to see if they really could do that in their hearts.

How can we do that in our own day and age? How can we just look into our hearts and see where we are in progression? That's pretty easy! We just do! We humble ourselves enough to know we aren't perfect and that we need to take responsibility for our asctions and ourselves. We cast so much blame and judgement on others. I am definitely guilty of this one... I have been blaming others for things my whole life. I definitely need to improve on this still, although I have come a long way.

President Uchtdorf says, "I’m not sure why we are able to diagnose and recommend remedies for other people’s ills so well, while we often have difficulty seeing our own." We live in a world where people pass judgement on others quickly and then make excuses for themselves. He also states that many of us have a difficult time seeing ourselves as we really are.

A lot of people nowadays are also way too harsh on themselves. They think that others are perfect and they are the only flawed one in the entire human race. I know this is a little extreme, but I have known people like that. There are others who think there is nothing wrong with them and it MUST be the other people in the world. And then there are people in the middle. Depending on the situation and the other person they could be always right or always wrong.

Have you met those people? The ones who always play victim? Or the ones who always try to make you feel like a victim? Or maybe even you could see both of those traits in them? Yeah... me too.

It's okay though, right? Because you do the same thing sometimes... NOT! According the President Uchtdorf, we need to start taking resposibility of our actions. We need to start taking self-inventory. You know how missionaries do companion inventory? Well, I think of it kind of like that, but you are your own companion. This way, you have the responsibility over yourself. You have to examine every aspect of your life.

Are you doing what you should be? If not, are you blaming circumstance or other people for that? There are plenty of people who come from bad circumstances who grow up and change the world around them! This is profound nowadays! People don't just do that anymore... unless they have already taken inventory and made a choice to do so in a way that is so deep they couldn't turn back. You have to have the desire to change or you never will.

The mind is a funny thing! It can help you do anything... but can anyone really do anything without the help of God? He gave us all we have now. If we work hard and do all that we need to, we will be able to do all that we want to accomplish. But first, we must take self-inventory. Here is a 7 day self evaluation chart. Evaluate yourself once a day and see how your life changes :D

7-Day Self-Inventory Chart

I am actually going to start this over again in my life. I'm thinking it is going to be one of those once a month kind of things to keep myself in check for a long time. I don't want to lose sight of things that are truly important. I think if we all do this, we could become more humble so that we may be able to feel the presence of our Heavenly Father in our lives. This is going to help us when we come to a point in our lives where we need guidance and we can honestly say we have been doing all we can to be righteous and do all of the things he would have us do.

Yeah... I know... we are humans. To err is human... but like I said in another post, we need to step away from human nature and make the world a better place. Where could be a better place to start than with a self-inventory? My favorite song from Michael Jackson says, "If you're gonna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." (Man in the Mirror)

I love that sentence! Don't you? People have to realize that they can't change other people and other people can't change you. The only person who can change you is YOU. There is no, "Oh. I can change him." No... if he loves you, maybe he will change a little, but just because you push does not mean anybody is going to change. It is just not going to happen. And instead of looking at their faults, look at yours, AND IMPROVE!! Start doing something today to change!

I had an epiphany yesterday... I decided that if I was always sad, I was just being selfish. If I wallow in self pity, I am being selfish! How is it fair that others have to see me being sad or hear me being sad or that I am so self centered, that I can't see the pain or the anguish of others? I don't find that fair for others. This epiphany helped me want to start my own self-inventory and I found a lot of things I didn't like that I need to change.

All of us have flaws. All of us have weaknesses. If we would just take responsibility of them and correct them and try to be better through Christ, we can! That is just it! We have to let go of human nature, push off our pride, and do all we can to better ourselves so we can better the world. Remember... You are the only one who is responsible for and can change you. Take the initiative and take a self-inventory.

Well, love you all!
~Megan

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The Power of Kindness

How many times have you heard the phrase "kill them with kindness" from someone after expressing your anger, resentment, or disappointment for another person? I know I have many times. Sometimes I think it is my mom's favorite quote... Oh wait! It is! That and another one I am going to write a post about here shortly... so I won't spoil the surprise! (Guess you'll have to come back now, won't you?)

Every time I heard this, I thought, "Yeah, yeah, yeah" like most teenagers would, right? Going through high school, I noticed many kids being thrown out in the cold- so to speak- and treated like outsiders. I saw others lifted up in glory for no real reason at all. I'm not sure what it is about high school that makes people so cold and oblivious to the pain of others. Maybe it is just that you think life revolves around you? Or maybe you feel like it revolves around a certain group, idea, activity, or whatever... but it makes you blind to the other people right in front of you!

College is a little different but not so much. I'm sorry for you teens in high school, wanting to graduate to get away from it all, but the people are the same. Yes, some go away to college, but then others like them come to the same college as you. There are always going to be cliques. Even in the "grown-up" world and work. It is always going to be that way because people naturally shut people out. It is human nature. I don't like human nature. It is also human nature to be hard on yourself. It is also human nature to respond in anger when something happens you don't like. It is also human nature to judge others. LET'S THROW AWAY HUMAN NATURE!!

Have you ever been torn down by someone? Have you ever felt out of place? Like you didn't belong? Has anyone ever spread a rumor about you that made you feel alone? Have you EVER felt unloved? Why in the world would you do that to someone else then? Why in the world would you make somebody feel that way? Unfortunately, this is a vicious cycle the whole world follows... I don't know why! If you are in pain, does it really help you feel better about yourself to tear down others and cause them the same pain you are feeling?

Did you know Utah is ranked #10 in the nation for amounts and rate of suicide? It states on Hope4Utah.com that the rate of suicide right now is 15.6 out of every 100,000 people. That is just crazy! In a city like Salt Lake- population of 191,180- That would be more than 30 deaths due to suicide... IN ONE CITY!! Come on people!! Don't you hear the cries? This has to end.

Instead of "Killing people with kindness", why don't we SAVE people with kindness? Just one extra smile at a stranger, co-worker, a classmate, a sibling. Just one extra compliment or nice comment each day! One extra hello to someone you normally wouldn't talk to! Anything can help. If you have ever felt unloved, you would know that any of these would help lift your day.

On the flip side, if you have ever felt torn down just by one comment, how do you think people feel when you make your comments? Do you really think it is going to help them? Is it going to make them better? Happier? Feel loved? If not, then you should probably not say it at all! With the way the world is today, wouldn't you rather be a part of the solution instead of the problem?

Recently, I had someone that I knew commit suicide. This person left a family and friends who cared so deeply. But he felt such pain. I don't know what happened that day or the days before leading up. I don't know what was going through his head or his heart. All I could think for a while was, "What could I have done to help his pain?" "Did I do all or say all I could have?" and then my thoughts went to his family... "What can I do to help them?" "What do they need to hear or need done?"

But both thoughts revolved around WORDS. Words are the most powerful thing we, as human beings, have. Words are one of the only things that can both lift you up and tear you down within seconds. Words are the only things that can make or break your day. There are your words to yourself, your words to others, other's words to you, and other's words to other's. We all use words. They may not be in the same language but we can say all of the same things. Everyone around the world is responsible for this hurt we all feel. Some cause it intentionally, and some unintentionally.

If everyone would take a step back and look at how they treat people and just change one thing, the world would already be a happier, more loving place. Now, what if we changed all of the things we do to hurt people? Don't you think we would finally find peace?  Let's all change the world! One laugh, one smile, one kind comment at a time!

Just remember next time you are feeling sad, disappointed, alone, forgotten, or just hurting inside, you are not alone and you ARE NOT unloved! There is someone who will love you eternally even if you cannot love yourself. Our Heavenly Father is the most caring, giving, LOVING person we will ever know. Is it any surprise that the God who created the moon and the stars, in our honor and for us, would love us? If so, why? Every single one of us is a child of God who he PERSONALLY created and loves. He knows you! He knows your name! If you ever forget that, there is help to find Him again!

If you or someone you know is feeling depressed or feel like this life would be better without you or just like you don't want to try anymore, DON'T give up hope! There are people who love you and people who want to help! Call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at:
 1-800-273-8255

Please never forget, just one kind word, one smile, one friendly hello could help someone feel loved and worth it!

And I am here if anybody has anything they would like to talk about. I won't judge you. I won't talk about what you are dealing with or what you tell me. I am just an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. If you just want to talk, email me. Leave me a message. Leave me a comment. Anything! Just so long as you know I am here for you.

If you liked this blog, please share it with your friends! Subscribe to get updates on my next blog posts. If this post moved you, let us know how in the comments below!

With all my Love,
Megan

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Journey to Megan 2.0

Hello cyber world! And welcome to the amazing journey to Megan 2.0! Here, I am going to document my journey to becoming the Megan I deserve to be through excercise and (shhhhh...) diet. No. I am not going on a "diet." By definition a diet is just the way a certain person eats. You could be eating super sized meals from McDonalds wrapped in a pizza and that would still be your particular diet. A really unhealthy one, but still a diet. Do you want to hear my last diet attempt?

I have been trying to eat healthy for a little while now and I was doing really well! I lost 10lbs and was feeling amazing about myself! But then we went to Disneyland... I kind of did a little bit of binge eating of things I hadn't had for a while and I gained all of my weight back... joyous. Then I just kind of got discouraged. I didn't want to give up certain foods and I didn't want to lose just to gain again. I felt like I was a loser.

I found out that this feeling is totally normal! This whole "dieting" thing is totally normal too. It is normal for human beings to feel over weight, tired, sluggish, and just- for lack of a better word- FAT.

I learned that the first step in changing this is not to change your appearance. It is to change your attitude about yourself. You are never going to feel good about yourself if you do not start feeling good about yourself just the way you are!

I have seen gorgeous girls talking bad about themselves and nitpicking every little flaw about themselves. I feel sorry for a girl who does not feel beautiful. The truth is, we are all beautiful! We are all of noble birth! We are all Daughters and Children of GOD! To HIM, we are all beautiful and important. I didn't believe the last part for a long time. I always thought "I won't be happy until I lose this much weight. I won't be happy because I am not this size." I was wrong! and so are you!

I found out that after I made that a fact in my mind, it was easier to better myself. Not because society wanted me to or because I didn't feel good enough. I was doing it so I could live a longer, healthier life with the ones I love and hold dear. I want to be able to keep up with E-Mae when she starts to walk and RUN!

I started this journey yesterday. I actually- wait for it- WENT TO A GYM! I know, right? I am the first person to say no when asked about going to a gym. I don't hate the working out. I actually like working out. I love the feeling at the end. The only thing I don't like is people watching me sweat. I turn all red and sweat... like A LOT! I had a lot of motivation to go yesterday. Heather, my best friend, went along with me to push me along. Later on, Fonnesy came and joined us.

I felt so good after working out! We have decided to go every Monday and Wednesday after STATS class. Now, I just need to work on my "diet". Any suggestions? I would really appreciate it!!

Lots of Love
~Megan

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My Early Riser

E-Mae,

I just wanted to tell you thank you for starting my day off right these past few days! Mommy started working a couple weeks ago, and she has missed spending the mornings with you. For the last couple of nights, you have woken up to be able to tell me good morning and play a little and cuddle and then you fall back asleep and I start getting ready for work.

1 AM is a little early for me but I don't mind! I love being able to spend time with you and being the one who is able to come "rescue" you when you wake up in the middle of the night. I know it is different being in your own bed, but I am so proud of you and how you have been able to sleep most of the night in your bed. This is a big change for you! It is going to take some getting used to from both of us, but you are doing an excelent job at it already!

I just wanted to tell you that I love you! And I adore you!! And you will always be my special little girl!! =D


Your Biggest Fan,
Mommy =D

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The 5 Lessons a Millionare Taught Me (My Thoughts)

I have this weird obsession with reading books that are supposed to help  me figure out my life and how I am supposed to live. I am not sure why that is... probably because I am always looking for ways to better myself. I am not quite sure... but I do know that all of the books I chosen to read are either suggestions from my parents, from trusted adult mentors, or straight from a list compiled by people who have "been there and done that!"

While at work, pretty much the only things I am able to do is read my books and write when I am not taking a call. (I work at a call center. yaaaay.) Lately, I have been doing nothing but looking stupid things up on the internet. This morning, as I was leaving, I looked around my room and remembered how much I wanted to bring a book with me! I treaded through my stuff (my room is a little messy at the moment...) to my bookshelf. It was either between Jane Austen, happy uplifting church books, or advice books. I grabbed 3 books and walked out the door.

While waiting for work (I always arrive AT LEAST 15 minutes early so I can get my station ready) I thought, why bring all 3 books in? I only wanted to read one at a time... I carefully looked at them and decided what book I needed most at this moment in time. The 5 Lessons a Millionare Taught Me.

Let the reading begin. My next post will be my thoughts and feelings about the book, so stay tuned! I will link the post on here.

Has anyone else read this book? Or something that they would suggest for others to read? One that was inspiring or the advice really helped? If so, please comment below. I am looking for more books for my "To Read" list.



Lots of Love!!
~Megs

 

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I am a Mormon! (Be forewarned... Tis a rant...)

This last weekend, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had what is called General Conference. It is a meeting in which the church gathers as a whole to listen to their leaders. Each speaker is lead by inspiration to write about whatever they would like. My family loves listening to General Conference with one another. We love talking about every individual thought and hearing the "themes" unintentionally brought about.

After this year's sessions of Conference, there was a challenge posted on social media sites to use an "I'm a Mormon" statement picture as ones profile picture. I did not notice this at first, but when I did, I thought it was really cool! And then I started reading a couple negative posts about it. There were some who did not like it because it was "shoving it down other people's throats"

I wanted to rant and rave at some people when I read that! How dare you tell me that people showing what they believe in is bad! How do you have the gall to go around telling me to think about how others would see this act or that it is going to offend people. So what?  Here is what I have to say... unfiltered this time!

I am a proud member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! That means, YES! I am a Mormon! If I want to show that I am proud to be a Mormon and believe fully in this church in which I claim membership, why can't I publically? There are so many people pushing anti-Mormom propoganda all over the place and want to shove it down my throat! I have had people on social media tell the world what they think we believe and how we live. Most people could not be further from the truth!

I have people on my news feeds trying to preach to me about different concepts and aspects that I find morally wrong and not doctrinally true, but I let them because it is their opinion and their beliefs. Why is it then that when I want to state my beliefs and talk about my religion, it is considered a non-valid opinon and way of thinking? Why is there such a double standard in the world?

I am not blaming any one idea, or political party, or religion. There are people who will not listen to the other side NO MATTER what or who they are. I am sorry, but if you do not take the time to listen to another person's point of view, then how am I supposed to respect you or listen to a single thing you say?

And another point! I am so proud of the leaders of this church for not swaying with the public like some others have. Just because we do not do what is popular and do not change our doctrine does not mean we are not "staying with the times." This church does not change to "please" the people. It sticks to its doctrines until the leaders recieve inspiration of God.

If you are offended by me proudly saying that I am a Mormon and don't expect me to be offended when you claim whatever you are, then I'm not sure I want to be associated with you. Just to set the record straight, I am not offended by anything you could say unless it was vulgar about me or a family member or friend. One of  my best friends is homosexual, another is Mormon. My cousins are Bornagain Christians, my aunt is a lesbian, my great grandparents were chain smokers and drinkers. I accept people as they are. I am sorry if some people cannot do the same... I think it is sad when they get wrapped up in their own ideas that they can't accept that people have different ideas we are all going to have a problem...

Anyways... Rant Over...



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Long Time, No Post

Hello beautiful people of the internet! I just wanted to check in on how our life is going:

E-Mae:

My beautiful baby girl is already over a year old. She is the light of my life and I have not had to leave her home with mom this entire time. Her and I have become so close that I absolutely hate being away from her. People have come in and out of my life, but E-Mae is someone that would rather stay with Mommy than without. I absolutely love spending time with her! I cannot imagine a life without her! I have been able to spend every day with my Princess because I have not been to school or work... which leads me to my next category

E-Mae on her 1st birthday eating her cupcake :D

School:

I am attending school at Utah State University-Eastern in my hometown of  Price, Utah. I am so lucky to be taking these classes this year. I am taking 12 credit hours this semester. That is good because if I take the same amount of classes next semester, I can graduate with my associates and move on towards any degree I want to achieve next. This is not only for me, but for my E-Mae. School is not my forte. I understand most of the materials, but if you knew me in high school, I do not like homework. I know... homework is part of life. But I really don't like it at all! This semester has been different, however. I have been doing all of my homework early on for the first time in my adult life. I am so proud of myself. I know... bragging is not a very good quality in a girl, but I really am impressed with myself! I have put my best foot forward and have been trying to do all I can to get good grades so I can transfer into a good program later on down the road.

As of right now, I am on the road to graduating and then I am moving on to earn my teaching degree. Depending on a few situations which I am dealing with at the moment, I will adjust what type of degree I will pursue. That may be coming in a post some time in the future. I am hoping a few things turn out how I need/want them to but one can never be too sure. My thoughts are either Elementary Education, Special Education, or English as a Second Language teaching. Those are just thoughts though. I am not sure what the future holds for me. That is something I am going to have to take one day at a time.

E-Mae and me after my first long day of school

Work:

That's right people! I finally have another job. After not having work for over a year and a half, I finally decided it was my duty to go find a job to be able to provide for my daughter. She is definitely my motivation for doing all that I can to be a great mother and a provider since I am now in charge of doing both. I applied for a couple jobs, but I only got one call to come in for an interview. I went into CaptionCall, took a typing test, took a dictation test, and then went into an interview with the manager. (FYI: I was so nervous that I wouldn't get the job, but I stayed calm and relaxed) I walked out of there, took a drug test (because they don't want people on drugs to be running around their business, making a muck of things) and I got the job a few days later.

Training was kind of rough. They always have to prepare you for every situation so it is harder than the work is. I had kind of a hard time graduating for some reason. It took me 2 weeks and 2 days. (I needed to graduate training by that day because I had a test in a class I had never been to because of work) but now, it is my second week of pure calls. I absolutely love it! Between calls, I have the opportunity to finish a lot of my homework, which helps with my grades and my focus.

Spirituality:

Lately I have been growing closer to my Heavenly Father, It has been such a great experience! Since I haven't had training, I have been able to go to an institute class and have been able to learn more about my Father and all he would like me to know. The spirit I can feel when at the institute is so comforting and happy that I feel at peace. I think that is why I love being there so much. I just feel at peace. Sometimes there are a few times where I just feel out of my element, but generally, I am able to feel the spirit of joy. I do not know where I would go during the middle of the day if I did not have the institute where I could go. My classes and work are on such a weird, crazy schedule that I would just be sitting in my car all day if I could not go there. I don't really feel as good anywhere else as I do sitting in the midst of like minded young people who are so accepting.

I have been working with a friend to start studying by topic every week in our scriptures and with general conference talks. It is going to bring me to feel the spirit in a way that I don't know if I have felt in a long time. Yes, personal study is great and I love being able to study at my own rate, but it is also easier to do my reading when I have someone to be accountable to and easy to understand when I have someone else to bounce ideas off of and to illuminate my mind with their thoughts and insights.

and last but certainly not least:

My Health:

No, I have not lost any weight in the past year, but that is okay. I love my body and I am trying not to focus on the outward appearance very much. I do want to lose a little to be able to feel good about myself. I have started selling AdvoCare and started using it. In my first 10-day cleanse, I lost a good 10+ pounds and was able to keep it off. I love my Spark in the morning and being able to go through the day without having a total meltdown of exhaustion (since I wake up at 4 am every day and have hardly any breaks between work and school.) I also have a friend who wants to go workout with me whenever I can, so that will definitely help me! I can't wait to see results and being able to feel better about myself and learn to love myself more!

So, now that we have covered all of those... I think the next thing I should do is... Give you pictures of our year!! :D

E-Mae and her Bompa. She absolutely loves him!!

E-Mae sleeping in the hotel after her 1st day of Disney

E-Mae in Disneyland!

Me and my nephew Damien Duncan in Disneyland

E-Mae, Me, and my best friend, Fonnesy

E-Mae and mommy after school

E-Mae likes to be super comfy :D Puts her feet up :D

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